Getting some perspective

on football and youth caregivers

Despite the epic rains and apocalyptic flooding, we are fine here for now, snug in our hundred year old house and ever grateful. I’ve been beating myself up over the last couple of weeks, feeling uninspired to write in this space to think of anything, really, that would interest you. One of Sophie’s caregivers had The Virus since I last wrote, and that sent us all into a tailspin because she’d had such intimate contact with Sophie and, thus, me, but fortunately the caregiver recovered and no one “caught” it. This is life in 2023.

I thought that I’d regale you with a recent visit I made to an IHOP near my work that actually offers a 55+ menu and how weird it felt to not to be carded and to sit, alone, in a booth and eat a BLT with french fries. I thought that’d be good — that I’d spin the story into something hilarious, something about aging and vanity and cheap food, something something something — nothing.

I thought about throwing in a rant or two — something about football and how much I despise it and how ludicrous I find otherwise intelligent people sitting around watching a bunch of men destroy their brains and bodies as entertainment. America’s game. A game fit for this terrible country.

I could also write about how angry I felt watching a bit of the McCarthy proceedings, how my heart raced when I saw Democrats yukking it up with Republicans on the house floor, cameras on so we could see the revolting charade that is our government.

But I don’t want to write about these things as much as you don’t want to read them, I suppose, although it’s a relief to just get those sentences out and down. I’d like to tell you instead about my friend in Colorado who, with her husband, spends literally all of the hours of each day caring for their beautiful adult son who has multiple severe disabilities. Who has interviewed dozens of nurses to take on some of his care with the latest refusing vaccinations, masks, etc. Who has been interviewed by the Wall Street Journal for an article about paid family caregivers but whose story wasn’t included as it might not have fit their slant. Who has a neighbor who is a state senator, who likes or comments on all of her Facebook posts about her son and has taken their story to the senate floor for increases in nurse pay and who otherwise fights for home health. My friend says that she feels “like we're in some no-man's land. He's not a child anymore so no pediatric nurses, and he's not elderly. Why aren't there people who just want to hang out with a super beautiful awesome young man who has a lot of care needs?” I want to help her, and I can’t.

President Joe Biden ran on a promise to help caregivers and the dire situation this country faces, but you know it didn’t make it into a single legislative bill —chucked out for other priorities — and now, you know, we’ll be hearing all about Hunter Biden’s laptop instead of why we still live in a country that has a wildly inefficient, inhumane for-profit healthcare system that’ll just as soon fix the wounds of a fallen football player or already obscenely wealthy senator than provide decent pay and training for home healthcare workers or community living arrangements for disabled people.

I bet you wish I’d talk about IHOP again, right?

Please read this article from Esquire Magazine, because it’s about caregiving and it will break your heart but also give you perspective. It gave me some. You’ll learn how some other countries do things. And I hope you will read the whole damn thing because I know it’s long and it might even be boring but this situation has to improve, these young people need our help, we need to shift our priorities, honor and care for the vulnerable, quit supporting businesses that rape brains and bodies, You know what I’m talking about.

Here's the article:

The Silent Epidemic Affecting Generation Z

And as the poet Maggie Smith says, keep moving.