Hospital Time

Sophie's 28th Birthday, March 8, 1995

On the eve of her 28th birthday, Sophie is unfortunately very ill, diagnosed with aspiration pneumonia and intubated in the intensive care unit. This happened on Saturday, and by this writing on Tuesday evening she is trending better. Antibiotics are working to heal the raging infection in her collapsed lung, and an abscess in the other lung will hopefully respond as well. She has a remarkable team of doctors and nurses who treat her gently and aggressively when they need to, day and night. I confess to being exhausted, and with the exception of a fierce showdown I had with the entire team about her cannabis medicine last night, I’m calm and resigned to the machinery.

I know that I will write these things one day, but not now. Hospital time is a strange and mesmerizing thing the nest in the middle of the room with the tiny tiny patient, the hours go on and by and on and by and nothing happens in the little room when the people come in and out and in and out, they’re so busy, always with the whole world busy busy outside and us swimming around and around as the machines tick and breathe and click and moan and now the sun is going down over the snow-capped mountains outside the window.

Tomorrow is Sophie’s 28 birthday, which is a real miracle.

Thank you for your healing thoughts, chants, prayers and love. They sustain all of us.