Hospital Time 1

IYKYK

Sophie’s in the ICU again. She is fighting another infection and has a vicious pneumonia as well as a virus. The movie Gaslight is playing in the hospital room, seemingly on a loop, which I find amusing. We are in the lovely UCLA Santa Monica hospital, so I feel as safe as one can in a hospital. She has a wonderful team of 13 year-olds treating her round the clock (one year older! from her last visit). Hopefully, they will not break her ankle here. Too much? As of this afternoon, she is doing better, so humor is in order. Her beautiful eyes follow everyone around the room, and she regularly kicks her legs and crosses them, sending pillows flying. Pseudomonas is a hospital-borne bacteria that colonizes and is notoriously difficult to treat. She acquired it last year when she was initially hospitalized, had it for the first time last month, was treated successfully and here it is, again. We are all so sad. It’s all so hard. There are no sufficient words to describe it all. The doctor did say that it might have been The Virus that gave The Bacteria an invitation to attack again, but they don’t know. The suffering. I tell Sophie that no matter what she chooses to do or where she goes, I will go with her, that she is always in my heart and I am always in hers. I don’t even know why I’d come here in this public space and let you know, but you’ve always been out there, many of you anonymous (and that’s just fine) but more of you sources of comfort, light and inspiration. That’s mainly the thing, isn’t it? Love. We’re grateful for it.

Stay tuned, if you like, for hospital time updates.