There she is, your girl. All this time when we endure one horrible 'executive order' after another, the clutching of the heart, it is this photo that brought me to tears. This. Her face. Her hair like a halo. Her eyes. She teaches us to slow down, to really see into this moment and no other. The baby-faced doctor afraid of his own mortality and his understanding of what it means to be alive. She is the face of all that is holy on this earth.
Oh my god Shopie is a fierce Goddes in red (as are you.) of course she feels the weird ripples of anguish and deciet and violent change in the air. Love you woman. Rebecca
I had a long cry about Katie the other night, unable to stop the tears, eyes swollen in the morning, kinda cry. She is my heart, but...
This will sound so cruel, but it's not I swear, it's from love and from fear. I hope she dies before me. If a doc were to ask me the same question, my answer would me no. No heroics, no intubations, nothing. Let her slip away, not because I don't love her, but because I do. I am her voice and I don't want her to wake up one morning to find her voice, her mum gone.
Any I also understand why you said yes, because that was right for you, because we're all different, because she is your heart.
I hope for the same things as you, sometimes, Pixie -- but I also hold both things at once. The question asked was for AFTER the intubation -- because she had pneumonia. He meant if "something happened" during the intubation, like a stroke, a heart attack, etc. He didn't mean the intubation itself. I was just so struck by how little he knew of Sophie, that she was already brain-injured, that she had a life outside of what was happening in that moment.
Sometimes the words medical people use are like sharp rocks and I wonder how they get through their day and night duties in this way, I wonder what words they'd use if they could look beyond their medical guidelines, their set of protocol questions, their need to cover the bases.
Most of the time, I think, they just duck and cover in case we hit back.
Your Sophie looks so beautiful, eyes to get lost in.
Elizabeth, I am stunned by your way of weaving, the depth, breadth, heart, rage. I bow.
My own comment would only repeat this a thousand times.
Dearest darling Elizabeth-
There she is, your girl. All this time when we endure one horrible 'executive order' after another, the clutching of the heart, it is this photo that brought me to tears. This. Her face. Her hair like a halo. Her eyes. She teaches us to slow down, to really see into this moment and no other. The baby-faced doctor afraid of his own mortality and his understanding of what it means to be alive. She is the face of all that is holy on this earth.
Shoun (Luminous Cloud)
My god. How little they understand, those baby faced doctors. Sophie abides. Because love.
Oh my god Shopie is a fierce Goddes in red (as are you.) of course she feels the weird ripples of anguish and deciet and violent change in the air. Love you woman. Rebecca
When a soul is still calling we do not refuse hope. We gather unto our understanding and no one else’s. Love to you and Sophie.
Yes, Sophie very much wanted to live.
I had a long cry about Katie the other night, unable to stop the tears, eyes swollen in the morning, kinda cry. She is my heart, but...
This will sound so cruel, but it's not I swear, it's from love and from fear. I hope she dies before me. If a doc were to ask me the same question, my answer would me no. No heroics, no intubations, nothing. Let her slip away, not because I don't love her, but because I do. I am her voice and I don't want her to wake up one morning to find her voice, her mum gone.
Any I also understand why you said yes, because that was right for you, because we're all different, because she is your heart.
I hope for the same things as you, sometimes, Pixie -- but I also hold both things at once. The question asked was for AFTER the intubation -- because she had pneumonia. He meant if "something happened" during the intubation, like a stroke, a heart attack, etc. He didn't mean the intubation itself. I was just so struck by how little he knew of Sophie, that she was already brain-injured, that she had a life outside of what was happening in that moment.
Elizabeth, I just don't have words for this. Your love is probably the fiercest, truest thing I've ever known.
Sometimes the words medical people use are like sharp rocks and I wonder how they get through their day and night duties in this way, I wonder what words they'd use if they could look beyond their medical guidelines, their set of protocol questions, their need to cover the bases.
Most of the time, I think, they just duck and cover in case we hit back.
Your Sophie looks so beautiful, eyes to get lost in.
I’m sending you love, Elizabeth. And to Sophie, too.
You give voice to the light in Sophie's eyes. Sending love and gratitude always.
Sending so much love
Thank you. For weaving such beautiful words through your grief, and it still, somehow, shines with beauty.
Love to you and your beautiful Sophie. I’ve been carrying around these words lately, from Mary Oliver’s poem “Winter Hours.”
“Hope, I know, is a fighter and a screamer.”
May your day offer you some moment of deep tenderness, to carry you through.
Keep screaming.♥️
I’ve been to these places, seen these faces.