The good news is that I was in the hands of a very capable retinal specialist who was able to repair a tear in my retina yesterday morning. I don't have any restrictions in movement except for bending down or lifting weight over 20 pounds or exercising for a few weeks (the last being, as those who know me, music to my ears). I have a very gnarly left eye and feel vulnerable and disoriented. I feel as if I were on the other side of a ViewMaster, the tiny figure that is being looked
i don't even know how you can type, let alone write with such command and passion and force. my heart goes out to you; it has always been my fear that something would happen to my eyes. i can't imagine anythign more frightening. and yet you are such a vibrant human being; it's as though you have hidden faculties that immeditely stepped up to get you through this. still i am so sorry the ex-husband issues and all the other incredible demands of your life have not decided to chill out for this interval while you heal. all best wishes for continuing mending. xo
Oh my heart, Elizabeth, you say it all so potently and all through one eye.
Oh dear. You look properly beat up. These fragile bodies. Very glad you had a good surgeon and hopefully all will be well. And ex-husbands. Ug. I have great compassion for the mothers in my life. Our office manager has two adolescents and a work-from-home husband in their wee condo PLUS her mother died alone in a memory care center recently. It's just too much. She rises to the challenge but her weariness is heartbreaking. An ocean of sorrow.
Much love to you Elizabeth and your dear family.
I have never heard of Dissomaster but it sounds almost comically (and tragically) inadequate to accurately calculate what it's supposed to calculate. I am glad your eye surgery went well. Sedatives certainly have their place, don't they? :)
Dissomaster is EVIL and as fake as the Wizard of Oz. But, then again, I believe in actual equity over algorithms. Can only imagine that it was designed by a man. Women's work in and out of the home is invisible. May sight be restored in your eye soon.
What an ordeal. All of it. Has society turned its back on mothers? Has it ever not???
Thank you for sharing, hold on to the good views and aspects, let the light in.
We experience the immense through the personal, and I am so grateful for how you render the personal, because it gives me insight into another corner of the immense, which but for your words, and the words of others who try to frame the immensity of the societal betrayal, would leave me floundering in the ocean of it all. I am relieved and glad that your doctor was capable and reassuring, and that you had those hours of floating lightly before the bad feeling pressed in. I know the feeling you describe, and will try to follow your lead and sit in mindfulness with it, rather than climbing under the covers in despair. The View Master, what a metaphor! And how you write it. Thank you, thank you for being you, and for sharing how it is.
Women's work, caregiving, changing diapers, feeding people, doing laundry, wiping chins, etc, etc, etc. None of it is considered important or worthwhile, until it doesn't get done. Women run this world, we keep it going and most of the stuff that we do that keeps things running is unpaid work. Making appointments, ISP paperwork, psychiatrists, hanging out in emergency rooms, dental appointments, dental surgery, all of it worthless because I do it for free. Fuck them all.
Apparently I'm in a mood. You touched a nerve. Your fucking ex husband needs to pull his head out of his asshole and see what you really do for Sophie. Sending hugs.
May you recover quickly. Having a major eye problem can be so exhausting and disorienting. Take care and rest as much as you can.
Wishing you a quick recovery. It is very disconcerting not being able to see out of your eye. Left eye just like mine, interesting. Glad it went well.
your words are so cogent and palpable Elizabeth. I keep hoping you are keeping all these posts and that they will one day find their way into a book of stories/essays or some hybrid genre. I'm glad to hear the operation went well and I was thinking that You must be thinking about who will care for Sophie if things get worse...or just at all. Blessing to you.