"Should I go on Youtube and learn how to deep clean her teeth myself?"
I wish there was a way to catalog all of the things I've searched for on youtube to just "do it myself". And yes, this is one of the things I've searched. But, we are also one of the lucky ones who has to have something as simple as a teeth cleaning done in the hospital.
I hope you find a solution for Sophie to be seen by a caring dentist soon.
“Why are the places for those differently abled so bleak?
Why are the places for those without money and on state-sponsored healthcare programs so bleak?
Why does money buy both superficial beauty and the illusion of care?
How will I keep doing this?”
I keep reading this over and over and revolving back to these lines. And the hatchet in the heart. And how many people are walking around with hatchets. Or daggers. Or arrows. Or rocks. And how everyone is expected to keep going and keep going and never succumb to the rage or show the hatchets.
Why the parking attendant and cash only? Why the entire dental office? Why did they have the ability and right to direct the gravitational pull of your and Sophie’s day and time to themselves, only to twist it?
What a shit show. Great questions. I like what Antonia said about all the people walking around with hatchets in their hearts.. I’d love to pull them out and fling them back where they belong. Much love to you both.
Oh, Elizabeth. How is it that you are still walking around and not curled on the ground in despair? (Rhetorical question.) When my Beloved was trying to get scheduled for her first surgery (where they discovered she had cancer, but only because she insisted on the surgery), the surgeon kept referring to her pain as "discomfort," as in, "I know she has discomfort, but . . . " Every time he said this, I corrected him: She's in pain. Why did I not grab him by the balls and squeeze and ask him to describe the result as "discomfort"? We need to not keep accepting this "normal" as normal. And I have no idea how to do that. I am grateful for you and Sophie in this world that is "too much with us." I am grateful for your words and your love of your family and your love of life. Keep writing.
Oh Elizabeth I am literally weeping in despair. This is the most complete iteration of medical and bureaucratic incompetency I have ever read in my life and I took a few turns in a chair at the dental school where various first year students tried to give me a root canal in the bowels of the university of Washington. Why are we all not shaking in fury? How has the government failed us so utterly as to leave its most vulnerable stuck in a dental office in Tarzana of all places and I want to know too. Tarzana? Love you. Rebecca
Our dentist may have resources. Joyfuldentalcare.com. We are in Illinois but Dr is a huge advocate for disabled folks and even makes house calls. Our daughter had been hospitalized for 8 months and has a trach now--great cleaning, x-rays, advice. Very kind. Sunny office.
There is so much wrong with this it's hard to know where to begin. But I will say that at the mere mention of Tarzana, my mind immediately flashed to the party scene in "The Graduate," when Benjamin's mother shrieks, "The Carlsons are here! They came all the way from Tarzana!"
I'm sure your Tiny Little Mother Mind considered the possibility that the window isn't broken at all, but whoever is hiding behind that frosted facade just doesn't want to be bothered by the hoi polloi in the waiting room. That's where MY cynical mind went, anyway.
As for the dentist, the fucker should have had the courage to come out there and face you him- or herself, rather than sending a minion who might have very realistic worries about being shot.
Unfucking believable and yet I believe you. Those are the days that require many fucks, out loud.
We have a dental clinic here that operates out of the University Hospital. Katie has had the same dentist for years now ( a lovely french woman) and always needs a GA to have any dental work done, cleaning, etc. I was bitching because Katie only gets in once every two years for dental work. But what you describe, I would have lost my fucking mind.
Does Sophie drool at lot? Sounds like a strange question but Katie's drooling is what keeps her teeth so healthy. Saliva is good for teeth and Katie's teeth are constantly bathed in saliva.
I can only offer an answer to your last question even though I'm sure you already know iit. No, you should not feel bad for peeling out of there.. And OMG.
I'm sorry you and c Sophie had to go through this.
I think that Robin summed things up nicely by saying that she know why the window is broken.
I am heartened to read the comments about actual real dentists and places and networks where this horror is not the case. Because it is horror. That's all there is to it. I don't even know what to say except that those of us who are fortunate enough not to have experienced situations like this really have no idea and that, too, is a horror. I wish you would send this piece to the American Dental Association or SOMEWHERE where its light needs to be shed.
Unfucking believable! I am so sorry Elizabeth! This insane that such a huge city as Los Ángeles has so few providers who offer care for people with disabilities. The horrible truth is that learning how to do it yourself just might be the easiest things to do 😿 I wonder if UCLA has a dentistry school that might offer that service. Why can't people communicate more clearly? Absurd that you had to drive up to Tarzana to sit in a depressing waiting room. South Carolina, regressive former slave state that it is, does at least offer free parking to anyone with a handicap placard. For that I will be grateful today. Thinking clean healthy dental thoughts for you and Sophie today. xxoo
Living the Questions
Fuck this fucking country.
OMG OMG OMG
Makes me want to slash tires and break the broken window. And curse. All of which will do NO GOOD.
Beautiful Sophie. Love you, dearest Elisabeth.
"Should I go on Youtube and learn how to deep clean her teeth myself?"
I wish there was a way to catalog all of the things I've searched for on youtube to just "do it myself". And yes, this is one of the things I've searched. But, we are also one of the lucky ones who has to have something as simple as a teeth cleaning done in the hospital.
I hope you find a solution for Sophie to be seen by a caring dentist soon.
“Why are the places for those differently abled so bleak?
Why are the places for those without money and on state-sponsored healthcare programs so bleak?
Why does money buy both superficial beauty and the illusion of care?
How will I keep doing this?”
I keep reading this over and over and revolving back to these lines. And the hatchet in the heart. And how many people are walking around with hatchets. Or daggers. Or arrows. Or rocks. And how everyone is expected to keep going and keep going and never succumb to the rage or show the hatchets.
Why the parking attendant and cash only? Why the entire dental office? Why did they have the ability and right to direct the gravitational pull of your and Sophie’s day and time to themselves, only to twist it?
What a shit show. Great questions. I like what Antonia said about all the people walking around with hatchets in their hearts.. I’d love to pull them out and fling them back where they belong. Much love to you both.
Xoxo
Barbara
Oh, Elizabeth. How is it that you are still walking around and not curled on the ground in despair? (Rhetorical question.) When my Beloved was trying to get scheduled for her first surgery (where they discovered she had cancer, but only because she insisted on the surgery), the surgeon kept referring to her pain as "discomfort," as in, "I know she has discomfort, but . . . " Every time he said this, I corrected him: She's in pain. Why did I not grab him by the balls and squeeze and ask him to describe the result as "discomfort"? We need to not keep accepting this "normal" as normal. And I have no idea how to do that. I am grateful for you and Sophie in this world that is "too much with us." I am grateful for your words and your love of your family and your love of life. Keep writing.
Oh Elizabeth I am literally weeping in despair. This is the most complete iteration of medical and bureaucratic incompetency I have ever read in my life and I took a few turns in a chair at the dental school where various first year students tried to give me a root canal in the bowels of the university of Washington. Why are we all not shaking in fury? How has the government failed us so utterly as to leave its most vulnerable stuck in a dental office in Tarzana of all places and I want to know too. Tarzana? Love you. Rebecca
I think I know why their window is broken.
I don't even know what to say I'm just saying SOMEthing so you know I'm hearing you. ❤️
Our dentist may have resources. Joyfuldentalcare.com. We are in Illinois but Dr is a huge advocate for disabled folks and even makes house calls. Our daughter had been hospitalized for 8 months and has a trach now--great cleaning, x-rays, advice. Very kind. Sunny office.
Dear. GOD.
There is so much wrong with this it's hard to know where to begin. But I will say that at the mere mention of Tarzana, my mind immediately flashed to the party scene in "The Graduate," when Benjamin's mother shrieks, "The Carlsons are here! They came all the way from Tarzana!"
I'm sure your Tiny Little Mother Mind considered the possibility that the window isn't broken at all, but whoever is hiding behind that frosted facade just doesn't want to be bothered by the hoi polloi in the waiting room. That's where MY cynical mind went, anyway.
As for the dentist, the fucker should have had the courage to come out there and face you him- or herself, rather than sending a minion who might have very realistic worries about being shot.
Unfucking believable and yet I believe you. Those are the days that require many fucks, out loud.
We have a dental clinic here that operates out of the University Hospital. Katie has had the same dentist for years now ( a lovely french woman) and always needs a GA to have any dental work done, cleaning, etc. I was bitching because Katie only gets in once every two years for dental work. But what you describe, I would have lost my fucking mind.
Does Sophie drool at lot? Sounds like a strange question but Katie's drooling is what keeps her teeth so healthy. Saliva is good for teeth and Katie's teeth are constantly bathed in saliva.
I can only offer an answer to your last question even though I'm sure you already know iit. No, you should not feel bad for peeling out of there.. And OMG.
I'm sorry you and c Sophie had to go through this.
I think that Robin summed things up nicely by saying that she know why the window is broken.
I am heartened to read the comments about actual real dentists and places and networks where this horror is not the case. Because it is horror. That's all there is to it. I don't even know what to say except that those of us who are fortunate enough not to have experienced situations like this really have no idea and that, too, is a horror. I wish you would send this piece to the American Dental Association or SOMEWHERE where its light needs to be shed.
I cried reading this. I wish I could do magic for you.
Unfucking believable! I am so sorry Elizabeth! This insane that such a huge city as Los Ángeles has so few providers who offer care for people with disabilities. The horrible truth is that learning how to do it yourself just might be the easiest things to do 😿 I wonder if UCLA has a dentistry school that might offer that service. Why can't people communicate more clearly? Absurd that you had to drive up to Tarzana to sit in a depressing waiting room. South Carolina, regressive former slave state that it is, does at least offer free parking to anyone with a handicap placard. For that I will be grateful today. Thinking clean healthy dental thoughts for you and Sophie today. xxoo